


if it's true and i lost my way

by demonicneonfishy



Series: i'll see you at the gates [2]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Blood and Violence, M/M, Post-Canon, as a treat, nicky can have a little revenge, nothing super graphically described, the others are there but not for long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28815855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonicneonfishy/pseuds/demonicneonfishy
Summary: “What do you want to do?” Joe asks later, when they’re alone.“You got Keane,” Nicky says quietly. “I get Kozak.”That is all that needs to be said.-After they escape Merrick, Nicky goes after Kozak.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: i'll see you at the gates [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983620
Comments: 6
Kudos: 206





	if it's true and i lost my way

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally a prompt fill on tumblr that i did a little while ago and decided to put on here on a whim.   
> title as usual from gates by tyler glenn

After they have dealt with Booker, there is one final loose end to take care of.

Copley tracks Kozak to an apartment in London, and tracks her communications as best he can. All they know is that she is trying to find a new corporation to fund her work, and find them again.

So there is no question about what they have to do.

Andy, after hearing where Kozak is, simply looks at Nicky and Joe with a nod.  _ Do what you have to _ . They were the ones she hurt the most, after all, and they are the ones who get to decide how they will approach this.

“What do you want to do?” Joe asks later, when they’re alone. 

“You got Keane,” Nicky says quietly. “I get Kozak.”

That is all that needs to be said.

“What did you decide?” Nile asks when they’re all together again. “What are we going to do about her?”

Nicky glances at Joe. “ _ We _ are not going to do anything. I will take care of it.”

Nile looks between them, surprised, but doesn’t say anything.

* * *

Nicky waits. And waits. And waits.

He has always been the patient one: he can sit perfectly still for hours on end, waiting for his target. Joe and Andy, on the other hand, become restless after too long. This is why Nicky is the sniper of the team.

Booker-

He shakes the thought away. He hasn’t let himself think about Booker since they left the pub in London. The other man’s absence is a constant, low-level pain for all of them, and all Nicky can do is try to ignore it.

Nile had asked if he wanted his rifle, or even a pistol. He’d shaken his head and taken the knife Andy offered.

Now, he waits for Kozak to return to her apartment. He sits in an armchair far enough into the room that she won’t immediately notice him and twirls the knife in his hand. Quynh had taught him that, centuries before.

He doesn’t have to wait long. The key turns in the lock and Kozak enters the apartment, talking animatedly on the phone.

“I  _ told  _ you, I need more to work with,” she snaps. “I can give you names, locations - but not until you give me the funding.” She curses as she hangs up and closes the door behind her.

“How do you sleep at night?” Nicky asks.

Kozak drops the phone and turns to look at him, her eyes going wide. “You.”

“How?” he repeats, twirling the knife.

“You’re hardly one to judge. How many have you killed over the years?”

_ Too many _ . “I never claimed to be innocent.”

Kozak makes no move to call for help. 

Nicky stands, twirling the knife again. “Do you ever feel even a  _ shred _ of remorse?” 

“You are immortal. You cannot die. I didn’t cause any harm.”

“We still feel pain. You knew that.” Nicky is struggling to contain his anger. “You listened to our screams and continued anyway.”

Kozak lunges with a penknife she must have kept in her coat, and Nicky almost laughs. He grabs her wrist to stop the swing, and then flips her onto her back almost effortlessly.

He crouches beside her. “Why did you do it?”

“I wanted to understand,” she says simply. “Like I told you. I believe it could change the world. All we needed was your cooperation. I was doing good.”

That final phrase makes Nicky see red. Maybe if she had been acting under duress, Nicky would be lenient. But she knew exactly what she was doing to them, would do it _again_. Is actively trying to find them again. 

He draws his knife and holds it to Kozak’s throat. “No. You hurt me. You hurt  _ us _ . I also think there’s something wrong with your head or your heart, because you were a little too eager to do it and justify it as science.”

“Wait,” Kozak begs, fear finally in her eyes. “Please-”

Killing has never been easy for any of them. Nicky is usually the one who keeps them in check, reminds them that they are not better because they cannot die.

Killing Kozak, however, is simple. Just a single cut, across her throat, a motion as easy as breathing.

She dies quickly. It is the most mercy Nicky is willing to offer.

He watches her eyes go glassy, and sinks back, breathing heavily. 

He wants to be angry. He wants to let the anger that has been building inside him for days free, wants to stab her over and over for what she did to him. What she did to  _ Joe _ . 

They are like fire and ice, Quynh used to say. Joe like fire, wearing his heart on his sleeve, his anger burning bright and strong. Nicky like ice, freezing over, his rage cold and quiet.

Joe would laugh at that and say they were two sides of the same coin.

He kneels over Kozak’s body, his hands soaked in her blood - there’s so much of it, everywhere - and breaks.

* * *

He arrives at the safe house in the early hours of the morning. 

Andy, Nile and Joe are all still awake, waiting for him. Joe gets to his feet as he enters the room.

After almost nine hundred years, they do not need words to communicate.

Which is why Nicky knows exactly what Joe is asking by looking him up and down, taking in the blood. 

He shakes his head.  _ It’s not mine _ .

Joe tilts his head.  _ Are you okay? _

Nicky shrugs, the motion so small it’s almost invisible.  _ I don’t know. _

“Go get yourself cleaned up,” Andy says. He hadn’t realised how tightly he was clutching the knife until she crosses the room towards him and pries it gently from his fingers.

He walks past Joe to get to the bathroom. Joe touches his arm as he passes.  _ What do you need? _

Nicky steps away from his touch.  _ I need to be alone _ .

_ Okay _ , Joe says with a small nod.

In the bathroom, Nicky strips quickly and gets into the shower. He turns the water on and adjusts the temperature to as hot as he can stand. 

_Like sterilising a blade in flame,_ he thinks to himself.

There’s blood everywhere. He watches as it washes down the drain, leaving no trace on the white tile. 

He wants to feel better. All he feels is tired. 

He hadn’t  _ wanted _ to kill anyone the way he wanted to kill Kozak for years. In their line of work, killing had always been inevitable, but never something any of them enjoyed.

But Kozak?

He leans forward, resting his forehead on the wall and closing his eyes. It’s hard to remind himself, sometimes, that despite the immortality, he is still a person. That he has to feel every single kill, to avoid losing himself completely. Right now, he feels nothing.

He stays under the scorching spray for what feels like hours, as long as it takes for him to feel human again.

* * *

Joe is waiting for him when he finally emerges. There were already clean clothes waiting for him in the bathroom, as if someone - probably Joe, or Andy - had known what he’d need.

He loves them both with his whole heart.

Joe is lying on his side in the bed, and if it wasn’t for the light of his eyes Nicky would think he was asleep. 

Nicky lies down too, so they’re facing each other with only inches between them. 

“Hey,” he says softly.

“Hey,” Joe responds. He reaches up to brush a strand of hair from Nicky's eyes, his hand lingering. “Did you do it?”

Nicky nods, leaning into his touch.

Joe leans forward and touches their foreheads together, a silent _I am here, we are okay,_ before pulling back. “Tell me.”

“She didn’t regret it,” he says. “What she did to us. She didn’t seem to care that we could feel pain. She insisted she hadn’t done any harm.”

They both know that isn’t true. Their bodies heal, but their minds still carry scars. More often than not, one of them wakes screaming after dreaming of Merrick’s lab again, and neither of them sleep again until morning. They haven’t slept a full night since they got out.

“So it's over," Joe says eventually.

"It's over," Nicky confirms.  _ Finally _ , is what he doesn’t add.

After that, there’s nothing more to say. Nicky turns over, and Joe wraps his arms tightly around him, the same way as always.

Safe and warm in Joe’s arms, with the knowledge that Kozak can never hurt them again, Nicky falls asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> i had to include my favourite comics! nicky moment (i had to change it a little because it didn't quite work but oh well)  
> i'm demonicneonfishy on tumblr too if you wanna come say hi!


End file.
